Parenting is hard, but a little humor gets us through. These funny motherhood quotes are great for a laugh.
One of my favorite parenting quotes is, “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
I think because it’s proven true more times than I can count (even though our kids are now 18, 21, 23, and 24).
Kids are just adorable little creatures that make us want to be better humans. I hope these hilarious mom quotes keep you smiling when you’re sleep-deprived or just need comic relief!
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50 Funny Motherhood Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud
Funny Things Moms Say & Mama Saying
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious.
Momster: What happens to mom after she counts to 3…
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put laundry in the oven.” – Unknown
My house isn’t messy. It’s custom-designed by a 2-year-old.
I feel like I should create a recording of me saying PLEASE CLEAN THAT UP so I can just hit play 500 times a day. – @Mom101
I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children.
‘You are going to miss this someday’ … I tell myself as I step on Legos all the way to the bathroom.
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“Sure, sometimes I question my parenting. But, to be honest, I sometimes question my child’s childing.” – Just Surviving Motherhoods
May your coffee be stronger than your toddler.
Licked a dark smear off my finger and then thought, “Phew, it’s chocolate!”
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I was normal 3 kids ago.
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More Hilarious Parenting Quotes
One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong-willed, but that will not be today, not in this grocery store. – Mommygotink
Being a mom means developing ‘the look’ to stop misbehavior in its tracks.
Before becoming a parent, I didn’t know I could ruin someone’s life by asking them to put pants on… – The Funny Beaver
If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide. #ecocentricmom
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
Some days I feel like super mom, and other days I pour the cat food in the cereal bowls.
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You know you’re a mom when being in the car alone is exciting.
I love when my kids tell me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a sink full of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time.
Yes, please get a new cup every time you need a drink of water. I love doing dishes said no Mother ever.
Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.
Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.
It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them. – Mom
When your ‘mom voice’ is so loud, even the neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.
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Funny Celebrity Mom Quotes
Need a funny mom quote from your favorite celebrity mom? We’ve got you covered!
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
“I’ve conquered a lot of things…blood clots in my lungs – twice…knee and foot surgeries…winning Grand Slams being down match point…to name just a few, but I found out by far, the hardest is figuring out a stroller!” – Serena Williams
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
‘I don’t think so mommy!’ is what my child said after, ‘Can you please pick up the popcorn you threw all over?’ – Anna Faris
“The majority of my diet is made of foods that my kids didn’t finish.” – Carie Underwood
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“Sometimes I stand there going, ‘I’m not getting any of this right!’ And then I get this big man belch out of her and I go, “Ah, we accomplished this together.” – Christina Applegate
“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers too.” – Crissy Teigen
“Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.” – Julia Roberts
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyliss Diller
“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” – Amy Poehler
“My biggest parenting conundrum: Why is it so hard to put someone who is already sleepy to sleep.” – Crissy Teigan
“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” – Kristen Bell
“I used to give my friends who have kids advice all the time and they would look at me like I had three heads. And, then when I had two, I literally apologized to all my friends.” – Jennifer Lopez
Get the FREE Motherhood Ebook…full of funny quotes.
Funny Dad Sayings and Quotes
Dads have a funny and unique perspective on parenthood and raising kids.
“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like SWAT, asking for a drink while you’re in the shower. AND dad is in the kitchen.
My kids will walk right past their father sitting on the couch and come bang on the shower door for me to open a fruit snack.
“Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word ‘hero.’ – Ryan Reynolds
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
Final Word: Funny Quotes for Moms
Maintaining a sense of humor is one of the best things you can do as a parent. It’s not always easy, but it will make your life simpler in the long run! Being able to laugh when you’re a parent is essential because it helps keep things in perspective.
So, whether your mama to an adorable baby, a rambunctious toddler, or an older child, keeping life light and fun – even in the midst of motherhood – is a great coping strategy!
So, if you’re having a bad day, remember that, like everything else in life, it’ll pass! You got this, Mom!
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What are some of your favorite funny quotes about motherhood? Share below!
